Dear Mrs. Ellis,

We have lost the permission slip for Jonah to attend the field trip
tomorrow. He would like me to write this letter to assure you that he has
my permission to attend the outing with his class. He is most concerned
that I relate the fact that he does not have any food allergies as he
believes he might be able to convince you to buy hamburgers for the
class on the way home. Be assured that he has a stomach of steel, able
to hold down almost anything. Once, he was dared to eat a heaping
tablespoon of mayonnaise for $2.00 and he did! Fortunately, the only
after-effects of this bet were intense stomach cramping coupled with an
overwhelming urge to run to the bathroom.

Right now, he is groaning that I am writing this letter and disclosing all of
these random facts. However, I feel that you should know all of it. I told
him that this information will be much more interesting to you than his
boring medical history or contact information. Asking for such information
is much like the polite conversation that people make when really, all they
want to know is the dirt.

Have fun on the field trip with Jonah and if, at any time, you should hear
him yell the word “safety!” from the back seat, roll the windows down as
quickly as possible. I can’t be held responsible for any damage to your
olfactory receptors should you neglect to do this.

Oh, and one more thing...should you decide to stop for hamburgers,
please remember that he does not eat mayonnaise at all and will not
touch the stuff since he found himself $2.00 richer and a whole lot wiser.

Thank you,

april

A Letter to Jonah's Teacher...
For those of you who are wondering...yes, I really sent this letter to his teacher. .

For those of you who wrote to say that I have broken my New Year's
Writing Resolution already, not so. I will be catching up shortly.

For those of you who were grossed out by the Mayonnaise story, sorry.
If it makes you feel any better, it was Best Foods Mayonnaise, not
Miracle Whip...which has an odd taste.

For those of you wanting to read the guestbook or sign, click here.


Have a nice week...all of you.



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