Several friends have forwarded me an
email stating that I can perform
"Self-CPR" should I happen to
experience a heart attack.
Thank you for your concern.
This is indeed exciting news...
As I began to think about it on a
deeper level, I realized the high-level
logic behind giving yourself CPR if
you are having a heart attack...I mean,
if I can't depend on my family to pick
their socks up from off the floor, what
makes me think they will put
themselves out in any way, even if it is
to save my life? Yes, if my life is in
danger, I'd best massage my own
heart muscle with a few strong
coughs so no one will hold it over my
head later how they saved my life.
I hate it when that happens!
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The more I considered this easy, do-it-yourself procedure, the more I wondered why we don't
apply the concept to other treatments where you might not want the assistance of others.
I've come up with a few different situations.
For instance, if you have a kidney stone, you could try to remove it with sound waves
without the doctor. Simply hold a radio up to your ailing kidney.
Try to judge the size of the stone and adjust the volume of your radio accordingly.
I suggest you play the song, "We will Rock You" or "I am a Rock, I am an Island."
I think that we have all had a time where we choked on food in front of others, perhaps at a
restaurant. To avoid this situation, which is uncomfortable for everyone, I have developed
"The Home Heimlich Kit" which comes with a folding chair and a tent to drape over your
embarrassed self. Under the tent, lean over the chair and try to dislodge the obstruction.
For your convenience, the tent is sound-proof, so make all the noise you want.
Before you exit, remember to wipe the sweat off your forehead.
*******************
Don't be so darn lazy.
There are many things you can do on your own.
Some people roll their own cigarettes...other people try to grow their own.
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This cigarette tree is growing on Antelope Blvd.
Life is full of interesting solutions...
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