Here we are, 7 days into December and we haven't put our Christmas tree up yet.
We seem to be having a little dispute.
You see, usually I head out to the garage and cut down our artificial tree long before
now. However, this year I wanted the smell of a real tree in the house.
I'm amazed at how Joe has flip-flopped on this issue.
I bought our artificial tree about 6 years ago, thinking of how much money and time
it would spare us in the years to come. Joe has done nothing but gripe about it.
So now, when I suddenly decide I want a real tree, he puts up a fuss.
I was done with that fake tree last year. It leans to the side quite a bit,
not like a real tree at all. It's been leaning since the year Jonah decorated it.
That was in 2005.
I had put the tree up on a Monday night, and on Tuesday, I came home from work to
find a most interesting theme. The tree was definitely decked, but not with
ornaments. Jonah's GI Joe men were using it as a lookout tower.
They were camouflaged; they were everywhere.
Their war paraphernalia draped the branches. Canteens, binoculars and such were
within easy reach of each GI Joe man as he lay poised and ready to spring into
action at a moment's notice. Most interesting were the Barbies who were apparently
doing some sort of USO tour, and had parked their jeep and camper under the tree.
Jonah was very proud of his Christmas display.
He had a look of rapture on his face, and an expectancy that I would love it.
I didn't have the heart to order these troops to withdraw.
Instead, I put some patriotic ribbon around the tree and declared the decorations
complete. We had a lot of odd looks from people who came to visit and didn't
understand. I didn't care. Jonah was only going to be nine years old for one
Christmas and I intended to enjoy it.
That was also the Christmas that I decided to give him various lengths of PVC pipe
with the connecting elbows and tees. The men at Lassen Lumber looked at me
rather incredulously when I explained that I why I wanted these "life-size K'nex."
After all, if he had fun with miniature building materials, how much more fun would it
be to build something he could actually climb on and hide under?
The employees looked a little skeptical, but as they started finding pieces of pipe,
they began making suggestions...he would need this kind of elbow...oh, and then
if he had this piece, he could build... They were very helpful.
When I was finished shopping, they only charged me for the connectors and said
that the pipes were scraps that could be donated to a boy who liked to build things.
Lassen Lumber is a great place. Chain stores don't do things like that.
And speaking of chain stores...back to the Christmas tree issue.
I had decided that I would just buy a $19.83 tree from a local store.
Where did they come up with the price on that? Why not $19.85?
Or did that seem too expensive?
Anyway, when I went to inspect the trees, I was speechless.
Check out the branches...
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Joe asked me, "What were you expecting for $19.83?
Grocery stores don't sell silver tips, you know!"
I couldn't stop looking at them. I didn't bring one home, but I did take pictures.
I've never seen so many branches on one tree in all my life...
They're so thick, I'm afraid there might still be animals living inside them.
I have some kind of morbid fascination with these Christmas trees.
I know they're not silvertips...so, what exactly are they?
Not knowing, I'm giving it my best guess and I've come up with a few possible names.
"Noble Bush"
"Silver Sticks"
"Grand Branches"
"Fir Forest"
Where would you even hang ornaments on one of these monstrosities?
Who on earth cut these down?
Can you picture how many mad wives there will be in Red Bluff when their husbands
come home with one these things? I wonder how heavy they are.
I suggest that if you go into the Christmas tree business, you try to develop
your tree selecting skills. Go talk to Kenney. He knows about trees.
You can read about my introduction to Kenney by clicking here.
Anyone knowledgeable about trees, please enlighten me as to what kind
these could be. It's always nice to learn something new.
Have a great week.
I'll let you know what kind of tree we end up with.
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