| Okay, time to address the proper pronunciation of the word “almond.” Joe pronounces it “ammond” while I say “allmond.” Christine from the guestbook tells me that the almond gets the "L" knocked out of it when it hits the ground. Christine, my husband thanks you for your support...but where's your loyalty to me? I don’t know why, but it really upsets me that Joe won’t come around to my way of thinking. I cringe when I hear the word without the “L” in it. Even now, as I’m writing this, I know that many of you will be thinking “ammond” while you read the word… this bothers me. I don’t know why this single word causes such marital discord. Neither of us enjoy the fact that the other will not give in. However, I do like to wreak havoc with Joe's peace of mind, always asking, “What do you have against the L?” I can’t begin to count how many times he has gone to the dictionary to show me that it can be pronounced either way, only to end on, “but mine is the right way.” I disagree. I like to spark his anger by dropping all my L's. I ask him things like, “Do you like to buy those ammonds at Wammart?” Predictably, he will purse his lips and take several deep breaths. “You’re upset, aren’t you?” I ask. “Noooo…” he exhales. “Yeah, you are. You're doing your Lamaze breathing. I know the routine. This is just the camm before the storm.” He looks like he wants to say something, but perhaps doesn't trust himself to speak. I always win. I want to ask him, “Why do you bother to argue with me?” But I don't want to push him too far. All I say is, “I believe that you believe you’re saying it right.” He takes a few cleansing breaths and the argument is over...for the time being. I don't know, maybe he lets me win, knowing that an unhappy wife can make your life a living L. How do you say Almond Joy? |
| Okay, someone in Red Bluff signed my guestbook and wrote that she feels sorry for "those who truly know" me. I just wonder why she's not feeling sorry for me. I like it when people pity me. I think I've told everyone repeatedly that my van has not worked in a very long time. It now has a non-op on it. That deserves some pity. My friends don't need any pity. They are all driving around in cars that run. Hello! What's more, they have me for a friend. Really, they are quite fortunate. I'm the one you should feel sorry for... and if you won't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my children because my husband says "ammond" in front of them. This can't be good for their developing mental lexicon. |
| Tell me I'm right... |